Blowing The Dust Off An Online Journal

Hi, there. I'm returning to this, my personal column of Simple Terms. Simple terms aren't exactly simple as in only a few directions. Simple terms is simply put - a way of dealing with things that won't complicate life any further than necessary. This result comes about through a lifetime of standard human reactions and behaviors mainly mine and a few dozen others I have had to deal with in close quarters and in long lengths of time. 

I believe if you have seen a person do something more than a dozen times and it isn't necessarily the same person, the observation becomes a signal later down the road. Cause and reaction. If an egg drops on a floor it will break and splatter. (That is an easy one.) Human consequences is a complex thing. I know from experience that personal safety is a number one priority around sharp things, fire, and electricity. Some people may not always have this awareness. The circles I run in say that doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results is insanity. I wholeheartedly agree. I am slowly and one by one breaking that cycle in my life and it has left me a bit isolated, but I have a lot more spare time to do other things because of this new change.

Gone Fishing

This must be the things a psychic sees in their forecast or feelings, this human behavior. There are a few of you now that want me to explain further and I shall not. It is the tripwire that always leads me to telling you to piss off and I have something else to discuss in the meantime... make that several things.

Gone Fishing

Yesterday was Father's Day and I failed to call my father for one reason or another. I feel terrible, but I had to work later on and I found myself trying to catch up and be on time. I did see him the night before and told him I looked at all those cards in the card section but found them silly and irrelevant to our relationship. I'm a rotten kid for not stepping up to celebrate with him, but duty calls. 

I find this picture image more fitting. My dad is the reason I love fishing and the reason I picked it back up this Fall. He will be the spirit in this chair in the not too distant future. I feel that he will always be next to me wherever I go. He is aging. He is not well. My fishing trips are my way of connecting to that father I knew so long ago that had a vibrant personality and strong body. He knew things. He could tell stories and he could fix things. My Father's Day tribute several years ago included one of his automobile projects. Read  The Mechanic and the Red Head on Hubpages. on Hubpages. Time and life defeated this noble man. He now toddles along like a large, half-silly bear and it is just killing my heart to see him. I love him dearly and will always. Being around him makes me very sad as of late.

My expeditions have been to celebrate personal milestones. I camped out at Eagle Valley to enjoy my 11th sober anniversary. It was just myself and the dog. My faithful companion, Wilbur, pleads with me each and every time I approach the door. Are we going yet? His eyes ask me as I step out the door and lock it behind me, off on my way to work. He scolds me when I get home because he missed me while I was away. He is the fluffy thing beside the chair in the picture. He, too, will be performing an exit soon. I am coming to terms with these things. The simple terms are this: life happens. Death happens. It is how we choose to deal with it that makes us victorious or victim. Produce good energy and good things in the time you have allotted here. Leave a smile behind as you go. That is what my father had tried to do all of his life and he has succeeded. This is also what Wilbur has done. They are both survivors of this - life. 

Read more of my writings at www.mariaburgess.com My writings and blogs are all contained here as well as purchase links for my first book, The Essential Window Painting Guide. It is a how to guide and chronicle of how I became a window painter. I write on a variety of topics and there will be more to follow!

Progress - not perfection - stay active

Sometimes the mountain we must climb is inside our hearts and spirit.
Image: M Burgess - Mt. Charleston, NV

It is progress, not perfection that we are trying to achieve.
-AA Big Book

Are we a better person today than we were yesterday,
last year,
or even five years ago? 

If the answer to this question is yes, then we are living true to our potential. 

If a person spends time learning new things they are progressing. Too many times people set aside learning as a disagreeable activity. 

My run into darkness taught me a lesson I will never forget. Sometimes, we make poor choices, and we often have to live a lifetime of consequences for these decisions. The results may not be known to those around you or be evident to new people you meet, but inside each and every one of us there is a history of things we regret, feel guilty about, or are ashamed of. These are not who we are. We are an accumulation of experiences, some positive, some negative. The energy that makes up who we are shines through if we continue on a path that is ever learning. Sometimes these thoughts and memories are like a mountain we must climb inside our hearts and spirit.

Ask yourself:

• What do you really want to know? 
• How much do you want to know about this world? 
• How can these things be accomplished? 

 -- Meditate -- Treat Yourself Well

Do you have a prayer ritual or a meditation routine? Is there a God or higher power at work in your life? If not, consider getting the spiritual base in your life solid. Begin with a peaceful morning and throughout the day, take a timeout -- even if it is only for five minutes with a pleasant thought in your head and a breathing action. The meeting I attended Saturday instructed us to breath in faith and breathe out fear. I like this better than the one one one one -- and and and and -- breathing method that I know. 

meditation and spirituality

Include positive statements in your waking moments and rituals.I have to constantly remind myself not to call me stupid or ignorant. I have begun to say it out loud, "Stop calling me that!" I shout sometimes. The way we treat ourselves is a reflection of how we feel inside at times. This may also be a clue as how we would treat another human being. Once we bridge that relationship to ourselves that enlightens us to take good care of our friend (meaning ourselves) a new world begins to unfold. From this point on we can have good relationships with not only inner self, but those around us. 

To Thine Own Self Be True

How do you do that?

Ask more questions  --  Make a list

• How can I better take care of this person? 
• What does this individual really want to do? 
• What do I excel at? 

Ask these questions occasionally. Guage your future decisions on these answers. Yes, put a wish list and a bucket list together. Do a to do list for today, for this year. Shelter your mind from poisonous thoughts and actions and call to action an effort on your person. Do three things today that can be achieved in a short amount of time. Take on the world a list item at a time. See where you can conquer items in your life that hold you back. Checking those things off of your list is a feeling of satisfaction and it can often be a way to tackle a bigger chore or task or even a college degree. 

This is where I am at now; at 48 years old, I decided I needed a degree. Education and employment rule my life at the moment. That and a pair of wonderful guinea pigs. We will get to those later. I have homework to do. 

Be good to you, ok? Oh, and remember to smile sometime today. 

Find something to make you smile or laugh when you get down. It is a healing thing and an emotional bridge to a better state of mind. The cares of this world get too heavy at times and must be set aside if only for a bit so the spiritual and mental faculties can be given a chance to regroup. Focus on what is really important -- the emotional state of your mind and your health. 

Upheaval and stress led me to do one of two things in the past: fight or flight. Today, I still squirm a bit when life gets difficult, but I have the ability to stand in one place today and not run and hide. Facing difficulties are not always easy, but they are worth it. 

Learn to be Brave! 

Quit It, Stop It, and Knock It Off?

I have to take a break here and tell you about the kids

Quit it, Stop It, and Knock It Off! 

My name is Mean It.

It never fails. The day goes by and I have repeated these phrases at one or all of my children. If one of them is behaving the others are into or up to something. I have to shout, QUIT IT! Stop IT, and KnoCk it OFF!!! at one point or another. Sometimes I ask them which one they are. They like these discussions. It reminds me of the cartoon Family Circus with the little ghost *I Don't Know* that floats around causing trouble.

We have means of addressing our kids that aren't very healthy for their confidence or building their self-esteem. I have heard parents direct hateful messages toward these impressionable minds. Meet these children as adults and they are probably suffering some kind of personality disorder from these marks on their spirit. Therapists make millions trying to reverse the damage.

I recognize where damage has been ingrained in my reactions. I do not blame my parent for the way they raised me but there are residual effects from my early years. I am still striving to do the best I can and when I do I am waiting to be in trouble for it. That my efforts weren't the correct ones or something along that line. I have realized this was from the way communication was addressed in our family home. Everything was a fight or a reason to share angry words. The tension of walking around with the potential of causing problems was thick.

Sunflowers ~ Image: MorgueFile

Quit it, stop it, and knock it off were also my siblings when I was younger.

Along with myself, there were 5 other kids in our home and it was a big weight on our parents. They had to both work to support the family. 6 kids are a big lot to feed. They are even tougher to discipline. My brothers came along one by one 9 to 10 months apart when I was about 8. They ran the house like little wild monkeys! My sister was only a year and a half younger than I so we used to be best friends for about 2 hours then be bickering brats the next. I am sure this added to the aggravations my parents felt.

I will out of respect for Mom and Dad not include some of the darker moments in our home life. There were no moments of inappropriate contact but there were physical confrontations at times.

We were a crowded home. Sharing rooms created arguments. Little children are curious and tend to wander where they are not supposed to be and cause issues. My brothers were definitely into everything!

A regular fight would brake out when one of the boys would find my sunflower seed shell bag and either dump it out or try to eat the shells. Mom would be furious! The irony of this is she has a backyard full of sunflower plants now that grew out of nowhere!

Some of the times we had were great. One of our favorite things to do was go outside and dig in the yard. Mom is still finding things and toys we buried out there. She uncovered a Barbie not too long ago.

I look back on those days and wonder what would have happened if I had stayed in the home instead of running into the dark...

Karaoke And Laundry Mats...

Karaoke is a great time out and I love to sing! 

Karaoke Night - Image: M Burgess

I am sitting in a lounge and the karaoke host and tech have arrived. They are setting up their musical equipment. 

The atmosphere is a friendly hometown bar and it is cool in here. I am so grateful for A/C these days! The summer heat outside is blazing and we had to do our laundry this afternoon. This secluded bar is right next to the wash and dry shop near our neighborhood. This makes doing this chore a lot easier!

My 28 year old daughter is with me. She's my runnin' buddy. The drink in front of me is a *Pink OJ*. It is a mixture of fruit juices and lemon-lime soda. I have been sober and clean for 7 and half years almost 8 years come October. I intend to keep it that way. Alcohol makes me crazier than I already am so I will just stick to fruit sugars and chocolate if I need a little bit of a feel good substance. Karaoke is one of the few reasons I will step into a bar.

Singing is a great way to keep me in my musical interest and helps me break away from routines. I have sung all my life. Choir in high school and in church has trained me to at least carry a tune. I play guitar but my instrument is sitting lately, collecting dust in the corner. It's a poor lonely thing these days.

I will open as I always do with the song *You're In My Heart* by that wonderful playboy crooner, Rod Stewart. This song has been my choice for warming up for many, many years now. I am not sure if I will stay much longer than a couple of songs. Crowds in bars get drunker and louder as the evening gets on and the alcohol level gets deeper. I am sitting off in the corner with my tiny lap top and editing some material.

I am seriously needin' a get away but the funds aren't there. Work has been tough with the job change in April and the fact that it's summer. Money is not readily earned at this time of year. Chauffeur work in Vegas is sketchy out of the convention season so we do our best to get by. The new procedures are making me just nutty some days and the heat doesn't help either. The days are over the 100 degree mark now. It's July and the sun just blazes off the black paint on our cars and you can see the heat vapors on the pavement in shimmering waves.

The past few weeks I have a new obsession. Writing has grabbed a hold of me and I don't think it is going to end any time soon. Developing a website and crafting readable, meaningful articles on the topic of preparedness is most of the focus in my publishing. This makes socializing difficult. Aside from the net and an occasional phone call I am a bit of a loner. Without my daughter in my home I probably wouldn't talk very often.

That is the purpose of this post. I needed someone to talk to and..oh, hey before I do that, I have to go sing. Looks like I am in the Que to sing next.


Be right back!